In Memory of My Treasured Angel Cosette

Today is Monday September 2, Labor Day, 2024. I haven't updated this post in a very long time. I'm going to now update this post with more memories and photos, as I have since Cosette's death, also lost Nico, then Persephone, and just today Sookie. I'll add memory photos of them as well. It's just been extremely hard for me to do so, mostly because of the emptiness I have felt from their absence. They were all teachers of my most treasured lessons in my life. I'm forever grateful to have lived with them. At this point now only Luna and Rain remain.

I'm going to start by enclosing a beautiful poem written by my cousin Gloria, on the passing of her beloved doggie Maia. My ex wife and mother to our daughter was Gloria's best friend long before I met her. As I was in tears, driving with Sookie to an animal hospital for cremation services, my sister Lou called me and told me to go to Gloria's Facebook and read her poem to Maia. When I returned home, my ex, Ilka, called because she had heard from our daughter that Sookie passed. Ilka also told me to read Gloria's poem Both Lou and Ilka told me the poem had them in tears. So, I read it. Here it is. Of course she wrote it to and about Maya, but I think it speaks to anyone who has shared part of their life with a pet friend - dog, cat, whatever. Sookie shared 12 of her 14 years with me. I found her one day peering out from under my garage door that I had left open just enough for Nico to be able to crawl in out of the rains. Gloria shared 16 years with Maia, but read it yourself. You can also see Maia on Gloria's FB page, here: Gloria & her good friend Maia

I could never write a poem as beautiful as Glorias, but it resonates with my emotions on this special day for me. Everything she put in words speaks to my relationship with Sookie. Thank you cousin for your words and for the inspiration Maia was to you, as Sookie to me. I copied the poem here, but you can easily find it on Gloria's FB page.

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I woke up this morning and went out as usual to feed my cats. Nico spent the night inside, but Cosette loves to be outside. I have a tall cat tree in my carport for her. I have her food bowl on the next to the top level because it has a small vertical wall most of the way around. She sometimes sleeps there, too; or on my car roof, or underneath it, or under my son-in-law's car. Mostly wherever she feels like. When it rains, she sometimes crawls under spaces or in bushes on my next-door neighbor's house. They love her around.

Cosette came immediately when I called her, as does Nico. Today when I called, she didn't come. I called out again and thought I saw her lying in the grassy road verge between the street and sidewalk out front between my two large mahogany trees. Suddenly I gasped and thought the worst. I ran and as I approached I saw that it was her, lying on her side. Shit! I said out loud to myself. I knelt beside her and confirmed that rigor mortis had set in. I saw bloody wounds on her and picked her up.

I carried her to my carport and began hosing off the blood and dirt and checking her wounds. There was blood coming from her nose and her mouth was shut with a tiny bit of her tongue showing. Her eyes were closed. There was a tear in her black tail, dried, not bleeding. There were superficial wounds on one of her black spots in her back, another on her mostly white body also on her upper back, another on her belly, a small one (again, superficial) on her white throat. There was no blood on the ground where I found her. When I hosed all the blood off, a couple of the spots continued to bleed very slightly, as did the blood from her nose continue.

I desperately tried to perform CPR on her for maybe fifteen minutes while praying for a miracle. Her lifeless body was still warm. I continued massaging her chest and blowing into her nostrils between cleaning the slow but consistent slight bleeding from them, even as I bathed her with soap, rinsed her, dried her with towels and then laid her body on a towel on my lap and dried her completely with a hair dryer.

I cried. I blamed myself for being too confident that she would be OK in a neighborhood full of cats and dogs. For two years she was comfortable among dogs of responsible owners. No dog had ever disturbed her. Often at night I would go out to check on her. She and Nico would often be crouching among neighborhood cat friends on my front porch, sidewalk, and yard. She was the happiest, friendliest, most gentle and most loving cat I have ever known.

She easily moved when I left my old house and bought our new home two years ago. Nico did not want to leave our old neighborhood. He stayed and my old next-door neighbors graciously fed him and cared for him for an entire year. They fixed a bed for him in their garage and often told me how much they loved him. He crept in their bed and they adored him, so I was very lucky. My first move was to a rental house only three blocks away, so I regularly drove by the old place and brought him treats. I'd always bring my little Maltese, Persephone, who was raised with him. They always played together. When Nico grew bigger than her, she had a toy stuffed ring she would hold in her mouth and use it as a battering ram to charge and push him.

Persephone and Nico would romp and chase each other around the yard every time I brought her over to visit. He always chased after her to herd her back if she strayed too far. They were inseparable until I rescued Cosette from shopping carts at my regular grocery store. When I pulled her out, the manager suggested I take her home. I did. She was a kitten. Nico didn't take to her too well, so I put her in her own room most of the time where she could climb a table and look out a window.

As they both grew and Nico insisted on wandering outside at night, I would crack the garage door to let Nico come in when he wanted and from inclement weather. Cosette began sleeping in my bed with me and Persephone. They played and romped until one day Cosette scratched Persse and drew a little blood from her nose. She never forgave her for that and moved away from Cosette each time the little kitty tried to apologize and cuddle. They reached an understanding. Cosette was welcome on the bed just if she gave Persephone her respectful distance. And so it was for the next three and a half years. They slept together just the night before last.

Persephone has never allowed Nico to sleep on our bed. She chases him off. He will sleep on a step next to the high bed that Persephone uses to climb aboard. If he's there in the morning, she plops right over him to climb down, if necessary. She rules in the bedroom and adjoining bath, limiting Nico's access and monitoring his allowed time.

I'm getting ready to go out this evening and perform a ceremony and bury Cosette in my back yard under the two large trees she loved to climb and romp with her squirrel friends. She thought she was a squirrel. She chased them around tree trunks. They chased her. She never ever killed or attacked one. I wish I had pictures of them playing. It was hard to believe. Some workers once took a video and showed me. I do have pictures of her high in the trees. She climbed with all the comfort of a squirrel. She played with lizards and never killed one of them either. She never ever put her nails out at me. Maybe that experience with Persephone formed her. My daughter brought over cages of love birds that she let roam around. Nobody ever attacked anyone else.

Just returned from saying some words over Cosette's body and burying it. Every step I take I will remember the everyday love and joy she brought to me. Whenever I took Persephone and my rescue poodle Sookie outside, Cosette always came over and laid on her back next to them. I remembered how as a kitten she followed me around the house constantly rubbing her body against my legs. Always, even just two nights ago when she slept on my bed, she gracefully stealth-walked over my body and rubbed her face on mine until I snuggled her head in my hand. She curled up next to my head and slept. I send a screaming prayer to the heavens that her spirit knows how much I miss her and how sorry I am for the way she left her beautiful tender, placid presence for such a short time in my life.

August 23 has another significance for me, and now becomes a date burned forever into my inmost being. Memories associated with this date will sear my existence for ever. I've heard that having an animal friend brings you some of the greatest joy that you will ever encounter and also one of the worst days of your life. I just tasted that most bitter day. I always worry what will happen to these dear friends of mine if I predecease them. I would rather have that pain than have them endure it. I can't help empathizing the terror and fear delicate Cosette felt on her attack. I know she peed herself. I pray that she let go quickly of her exquisite and fragile life.

Every night when I checked on her and saw her comfortably lying on my front porch, cat friends crouched on the grass or sidewalk to my front entrance. Tonight was no different. It’s as though her friends came by, waiting to see her, they sensed her absence and payed her respects. I put her filled food bowl out for them. My respects to the great loss I share with them.

All day I sat with her body in wake in a shed out back burning a candle for her and sending thoughts and prayers to the heavens. I walked the very spaces she tread each day, my heart breaking. I stood over the spot where I picked up tufts of her fur from the struggle. I stood over the spot where I found her lifeless body, raised my arms to the sky, and spoke of her greatness to my life. I made some promises over her grave.

So now I will find pictures of her and add them to this memorial in the next few days. Fortunately for me I have some busy days ahead to keep me from desolate depression. Those days will come I'm sure.

Thank you, my love, for many memorable days of love, tenderness, elegance, and joy.